For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

JEREMIAH 29:11

I was praying for something specific for my son

The very thing that gets him back on track

Day and night, I prayed

Day and night, I cried

I cry myself when I pray

I cry myself to sleep

I question myself what I’ve done wrong

I question God why He let it happened

As the days go by, I feel God’s hand upon me

No, He still didn’t grant me the very thing I wished for

The petition I asked for

His answer to my prayers was not what I specifically prayed for

I can’t imagine why His answer was different

Was it so hard to give it to me, Lord?

Was it so hard to give it to our family, Lord?

We’ve been faithful with our prayers

We’ve been pious with our faith

How hard can it be, Lord?

To answer a prayer of one mother’s grieving heart?

Please don’t punish me for my audacity

To question your wisdom

I humbly beg your mercy, beg your forgiveness

THE HAND OF THE LORD

God knows best

God loves my son more than I do

God knows why

God knows better

My job is to trust

My heart needs to trust

If I am to obey

Then don’t keep me astray

As long as You’re with me

Then I will just surrender

THE HEART OF GOD

Oh God! Where are you?

Why on earth am I doubting?

I’m so afraid for my son

But you sent help from day one

I have friends from all around

Relatives, family, even strangers

Willing to go over and beyond 

To lend a helping hand

Why did I doubt You?

Why do I falter?

My weakness is Your strength

If this is my path to holiness

Then so be it

If this is the way to have a deeper relationship with You

Then I surrender everything at the foot of the cross, Oh Lord

In You I TRUST

*Repost from jennocampo.com, January 19, 2023.