Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

– Matthew 16:24

Lord, I have plans today.

I woke up thinking of all the things I have to do.

I have tasks to finish and I need to start early.

I’ve got a checklist to tick one-by-one.

My goal is to accomplish them all before I go to bed again tonight .

I even have list of books to read and I have specific dates to finish them.

I want to start early and I want to start now.

I’m sitting in front of my computer now and start checking my emails and messages. Then, I start to wonder if this is all there is to it.

I’ve been doing this for years now. I come up with things to do and add more to my list the next day. It’s a never ending list of things to-do. I feel like a hamster running on a wheel. A pile of never ending to-dos. Some days I like it because I feel needed and busy. An illusion of productivity, that’s what it truly is.

What I’m saying is, I forgot my list of to be. We are human beings after all, not human doing.

How can I be more attentive to the promptings of the HOLY SPIRIT? My to-do list was all for me. It’s time to think of the people around me too.

So, I changed my LIST OF THINGS TO DO and this is what it says…

And I made a prayer LIST OF THINGS TO BE …

Jesus, 

I surrender to you today all the situations that are beyond my control.  Lord, You know how I react to things. You know me and my irritability if things don’t go my way.  You know how I struggle with my character.  Direct me, Lord. Teach me how to serve You. Teach me how to love You with all my heart and with all my soul.  Help me to love the people I don’t feel like loving.  Help me to love even those who get on my nerves.  Help me to be patient.  Help me utter words of kindness to those who need them most. Help me love others the way you love them.

I am tired of running things my way. Remind me not to get in your way. I’m tired of operating based on how I feel.

Help me decrease, Lord. Help me be humble. Lead me because I’m tired of deceiving myself that I can be someone without YOU.

Make me an instrument of your love for them. 

Help me to BELIEVE, TRUST, and SURRENDER to you. 

Help me remember that I am never in control.